|
Customer
Language Interpretation
|
|
Customer: I
have not installed anything new on my computer.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I just installed three different versions
of some crappy shareware application that
was put together by a third grader.
|
|
Customer: I
do not have any applications open.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I have several anti-virus and disk cleanup
applications running in the background, but
I am too stupid to realize that these are
actually applications and that they don't
need to be up in a window to be running.
|
|
Customer: I
followed your directions, but I do not see
that on my screen.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I was not following your directions. I immediately
jumped to the place I thought you would want
me to be. I was also playing Solitaire while
you were telling me what to do.
|
|
Customer: I
am a computer tech too. You can speak technical
with me. I will understand you.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I think that I know more than I really do.
|
|
Customer: Yes,
I have tried restarting my computer
|
|
Real Meaning:
I have not restarted my computer to try to
resolve the problem. I do not want to seem
like an idiot because that step is too obvious
for me to have overlooked.
|
|
Customer: I
really need to get this problem solved. I
cannot run my business without a fully operational
computer.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I have 4 gigabytes of nude girls under the
age of 18 on my computer and I must be able
to view them.
|
|
Customer: But
I don't have the time to send my computer
in for repair. I have a business to run
|
|
Real Meaning:
I do not want to send my computer in for repair
because I am scared you will find the 4 gigabytes
of nude girls under the age of 18 on my hard
drive.
|
|
Customer: I
am ready to throw this computer out the window.
|
|
Real Meaning:
I am showing you that I am a dangerous person.
Don't mess with me.... Fix my problem NOW!!!........
I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe
me..... WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!?!?!
|
|
"From http://www.helpdesktech.com
- Dedicated to the disgruntled helpdesk professional"
|
