Strangers, this will make no sense to you

Alright... enough of this BS already! Chris is a good guy.. and he was a good man to me... despite what most people thought, and how unhappy I always seemed while I was with him -- maybe I had my own issues. I did enjoy his company, we had a special bond, and deep down inside I appreciated the things he did for me.. the sacrifices... and having to deal with the shit I put him through. We clashed because I felt like he was being my father, when all he was doing was watching out for me. Anyone with common sense (which I often lack) would realize that that was a good thing. We had compatibility issues... but we still got along fine when we were alone usually. Yet something always stressed me out about him... he was way too condescending to me, and I was tired of his high-horse act. Despite that, I still love him, and know he is a good person... having good morals and intentions does not make someone bad. I guess I felt too imprisoned in that situation. And I wish people would stop making it such a bad thing that he doesn't believe in drug usage -- someone's got to be sober out there.

There is nothing Chris did that required my forgiveness... other than tearing up very sentimental family pictures (after the breakup). You were good to me, you were so faithful, and you showed me love like no other We both had horrible tempers... but perhaps it had something to do with us being around each other 24x7 with no breaks in between... it can drive 2 people mad.

Chris, your wonderful friends and family are right... and I'm sure you know it, too... I was the wrong girl for you. I knew it, too. That's why you should be glad I'm gone. Though I didn't choose the BEST way to leave you (and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only human being in this world who has ever done it that way), I am still content with my choice, and I only wish that you could forget about me and stop trying to curse my relationship. Obviously I don't live by your rules nor anyone else's... so why bother? Doesn't that make me too stubborn to deal with? Anyway, you deserve so much better than me, so go out and find it... clinging onto my memory isn't fair to new people you date, just like it wasn't fair for me to still be sad about you after dating someone new.

I imagine you would be just as bitter about me dating anyone else on this planet even if I wasn't with the man you despise so much right now. Don't you see... we just weren't meant to be. I don't ever remember feeling this happy and free in my life... I'm not saying I owe it all to the man I'm with... I'm just talking about the situation I'm in... where I am emotionally, what I'm doing with my life now.. it's all coming together.. and it's what I always looking for. Chris, you and I rubbed each other the wrong way... yet we also managed to rub each other the right way and make each other happy, if only for a moment... we had way too much of a love/hate relationship.... how could you stick around and wait to see if I would ever become more compatible with you? Maybe I really wasn't ever going to be any different from how I am now... sure, I'll probably act a lot more mature later on, but who would want to wait that long if they couldn't get along with me now? So I wasn't changing for you... since when does someone have to change their whole way of being for someone else? I may have loved you, but I don't think I would have wanted to become a totally different me just to make you happy. I'm sure it would have been worth it for you, but wouldn't that have taken away some of my pride, not being able to be myself?

Chris, if you are reading this... know that I love you, and I care for you, but I don't think this is our time, and I don't believe it ever will be. Too much is ruined, and like I said before... you deserve better, and so do I -- better for me... as low as you may think my standards are.

By the way, if you would rather I not post such personal stuff to my front page, you should consider getting an email address so I can communicate with you a bit more privately to avoid the embarassment.

Chris, you are a good guy, and you need a good woman.