Sometimes Texas is Depressing

For the most part, I really enjoy living here in Texas, but sometimes, the whole hickish-ness of things really gets me down. Last Friday, for most of my drive home, I was stuck behind 9 trucks in a ROW! It was as though they were reassuring me that I was in Texas. My car is a dinky little VW Cabrio, and surrounding me were so many SUV's and trucks it made me dizzy! It's really hard to see past tall cars, and it's also annoying seeing so many trucks. When I see a truck, I imagine people need it to haul shit around. MOST of the trucks I ever see around here have NOTHING in the bed of the truck... so what's the fascination? I don't get it. I also noticed many people in trucks drive like total jerks... I understand most of the time they've got bigger engines, so they wanna drive fast. I drive fast most of the time, but I just can't stand it when I'm going 80 on the freeway and some rude pick-up truck driver starts trying to tailgate me as though I'm driving like a grandma. Grr! Just drive around and PASS me dammit!

So anyway... while I was driving home on Friday, there was a lot more traffic than usual and a lot more trucks... and then I finally found out why. There was a RACE that night at the Texas Motor Speedway, so you can imagine every racing fan in the area and his dog were there. They blocked off the highway ramp that I needed to get onto, so I ended up having to go straight on a freeway I wasn't familiar with. The sun had set, and I was driving in the dark on this really long, narrow stretch of highway surrounded by nothing but farmland and occasional farm roads. I had not even driven 4-5 miles past my blocked off highway exit, and things turned country FAST. I started seeing road signs for Justin, TX and Rhodes or some cities I just didn't recognize. Texas is just too big sometimes. I couldn't find a place to turn around, and there were tons of people behind me that were starting to catch up, so I wanted to hurry up and find a place to turn into to turn around... I drove past so many farms and the roads were so dark you couldn't see them until you passed them. I finally found a road that was marked and slowed down to turn into it... It turned out to be a VERY narrow private drive... so I had to improvise and make a very tight U-turn on it so I could make a left turn and go back the other way again without "trespassing". Oof... finally I got back on the highway.. and found my way home and gave Chris a great big hug of relief. It made me feel so alone out there... so spooked. It's freaky when you realize how big Texas is, and it's even freakier when you're not a white person. Not that all people are racist around here, but it just seems like they're less likely to help or be considerate you when you're not white.

I've been to more lonely areas of Texas before... the highway between Dallas/Fort Worth and College Station (where Texas A&M is), and I must say that's one of the most dangerous and lonliest drives one could make alone or even with someone else. There are many little worn looking towns on the way and people drive upwards of 100 mph easily, and on top of that, gas stations are scarce.. so get gas often or you're in a sucky situation. I feel so immature and superficial for not being comfortable in country type settings... I'm sure I'd understand better if I grew up in that lifestyle, but for me, I find all my comfort back in the suburbs, where there's plenty of people, commerce, and roads.