Asian Women Are So Beautiful - *B*A*R*F*

Recently (like last week) I got an email from some guy stating that he's had a fantasy of having an Asian girlfriend. Now.. this is not the first time I've ever gotten an email or message like that, but I figured now is as good a time as any to talk about how I feel about that. So... sorry "J" if you get mad reading this... you can call me a bitch or whatever you want.. it doesn't matter -- I'm happily engaged anyway.

First of all.. it doesn't totally offend me when someone talks like that... but it does bother me a little bit. When guys talk about "Asian" girls as if they're a certain breed of dog or cat, it feels insulting. Ever since I've gotten online I've become more and more weary of hearing phrases like:

"Asian women are so beautiful..."
"I love Asian women."
"I've always wanted an Asian woman"

ETC... ETC...

Oh honestly! Do you think an Asian woman in her right mind is going to fall for that shit and drop her panties for you? Maybe if she had no brain or self-worth. The reason why I take offense to someone saying they think Asian women are beautiful is because they're being given credit for just being Asian... not actually because she DOES look good. I mean.. by saying that you're saying no matter how truly butt ugly or pretty she is.. she's still beautiful because she's Asian.

I don't care if guys who are supposedly into Asian chicks start hating my guts for talking about this, but in all honesty I think any woman, black, white, yellow, red, or brown would be just annoyed by a man who treated them like a brand of cereal. It is just as bad as being stereotyped as a nerd, jock, cheerleader, or freak. People that think that way might as well say stuff like... "Ooh.. I've always wanted to have a cheerleader/band nerd/pot-smoker for a girlfriend..." See how well that line works for you with other "types" of people. I think it's so low for a man to think he can lure a woman just by saying he thinks women of her type are beautiful.

What is the deal anyway? What's an Asian woman have that other women don't? What's the fascination? I don't sit there and say I've always wanted a European boyfriend or come on to guys that way. In a way it's disrespectful because when you say something like that you're basically trying to put someone in their place, and defining them by your own standards. It totally takes away from WHO and WHAT that person is like and instead places emphasis on what stereotype they fit in.

You see... since I've met Chris... I haven't once heard from him anything remotely related to my race, bad or good -- or from his family either... and that's FINE with me. Because of that and how well we get along in general, our relationship has been successful and he has made me feel so comfortable about being with him. He would not have lasted past the first date if he told me how much he's wanted an Asian woman and dreamt of one day marrying one. But hey.. maybe it's a matter of personal preference. Who knows.. maybe there are some dumb Asian chicks out there that would fall for that crap.

My best advice is that if you indeed have a fascination towards men/women that are white/Asian/black/nerds/ditzy/whatever, try your best NOT to express it in such a way that they would feel trapped in the stereotype... or better yet, don't say anything at all. Try liking them because they're a likable person... because you have a lot of things in common... because you guys have a lot to talk about... because you share the same goals in life. Wouldn't you think that makes a better relationship then one based on the other's race?

Added: 8/7/01 @ 2:40pm

When you stereotype people especially based on their race... you're also giving and taking away possibly undeserved credit to and from that person. Let me see if I can give you some examples of what I mean.

It's like saying...

Susie Cho did well on her SAT's because she's Asian.
Emmitt Smith is a good football player because he's black.
Alex Rodriguez plays baseball well because he is Hispanic.
Billy Joe Harris is a good farmer because he's white.
Jackie Chan is good at martial arts because he's Chinese.

In those cases you are basically taking credit away from someone by simply saying their achievements have to do with their race, not all their hard work or talent. The same thing is true the other way around when you give credit to someone because they achieved something that most people of their race don't. It's not to say there are some very distinct things that distinguish all the races.

I've dealt with all sorts of assumptions growing up... It's only made me conclude that people use statements like that as an excuse for why they aren't as good at something as much as they'd like. Imagine if you were a young Asian girl in school, and you could hear your classmates whisper to each other that the only reason why you made straight A's and drew well were because you were Asian... not because you busted your ass doing homework and memorizing things, and were more careful when you drew pictures. How would you feel?